it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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