This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize