yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize