He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
