i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
