would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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