so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
