She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
