well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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