And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize