I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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