You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
