My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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