she was so not down for the gang bang
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
