you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
