my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My feet surprised me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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