Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
