if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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