IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
