May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
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I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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