So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize