Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
