Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
