I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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