im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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