I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
