I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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