Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
they're like a gay fantastic four
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
