Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Holy shit dude........stairs
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