The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
