I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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