I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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