is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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