at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
