so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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