I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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