from now on my penis is your penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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