i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What drink are we having for lunch?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
