She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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