Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
