Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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