hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
