i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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