look no pants
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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