so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
