I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
im on a boat
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