Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
