About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize