saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
