I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
