I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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