Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
