But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
