She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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