i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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