you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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