Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
