I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
