I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
