Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize