Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
