When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
