booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she looked like the before picture.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
3pm strippers are depressing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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