Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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