she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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