You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
