wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
COCAINE IS GR8
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
