That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
